But what happened in that last week? Well, I finished working Saturday night, closing down Garrett Popcorn shops for the last time. It was really relieving walking home knowing I didn't have to scoop, shake, or bag any more popcorn. (Side note, my dad didn't get to come down to Chicago to visit me, so I took him to the Garrett in 12 Oaks Mall in Michigan. I couldn't even go a week without it.)
Some things I learned from working at Garrett:
- If I set my mind to something, I really can be good at it. I became one of the fastest baggers in the store over the month and a half that I worked there.
- Sometimes thinking can get in the way. Only in sports and bagging popcorn do you do better by doing, not thinking.
- Even if that is true, I couldn't stand doing this job for a long time. It was a good time, which I genuinely enjoyed, but I am glad I am going to school to be a nurse.
- It was pretty easy to start surface level conversations on spiritual topics with my coworkers. One even got a little bit deeper, as she allowed me to explain some of my views. It showed me that if I look for opportunities, it is possible for the working world to be a mission field. But you have to be looking, or you could just fade into the crowd. (A cool article on the topic- http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/how-to-glorify-god-at-work)
The last week, as we closed out the mission and had our last action groups, evangelism times, and group meetings, was absolutely crazy. Thankfully, we still found time to relax as we inserted our own times to show appreciation for each other. Sunday night, during the time when we normally have our directors meeting, Zach, the other male director, and I took the women directors out to dinner at Flaco's Tacos, where we got to talk and laugh, as well as read them a letter that we wrote to encourage them. An excerpt reads:
"You are both beautiful women who God has blessed with leadership and strength, and by making you both directors he has blessed us in turn. You have become like sisters to us, which is so clearly evidence of Christ’s work, as we look past our individual differences, striving towards the common goal of Christ and his kingdom."
The next day, the staff directors who had left for the second half of the summer returned to start helping us wrap up. This was a multiple day affair of going out to get food or coffee, giving advice on how to better help students transition into his or her role, how the set-up could have been different to make things go smoother, etc.
For me, that looked like sitting down with Ryan Janosko, a staff member from Ohio State University, and going over the numbers. I feel comfortable now saying that at the beginning of the second 5 weeks, Ryan had handed me the remainder of the summer mission budget in cash. Overwhelming isn't a strong enough word to express that feeling of responsibility. So we went over the receipts that showed what we spent it on and discussed how to make future Ops Director's lives easier.
But that, honestly, was the boring stuff. We also had multiple dance parties, a final banquet, a last meeting, and many other lasts. But one of the most exciting parts of the last week was seeing the relief of those who completed the last responsibilities of their roles, one by one feeling the weight lift off of their shoulders. They may not yet realize what I have been able to see, which is how strong those shoulders have become. First was the Men's and Women's Event planners, then the community team responsible for group meals and community events, then the campus team leaders, then the other community team, then the Final Banquet team, then the meetings team. These people have worked so hard all summer to make everything run smoothly, and as the man people had to come to to get money, I knew everything that we spent money on, and therefore everything that we did.
The amount of planning and preparation that went into each event most likely went unnoticed by the general CSM population, but not me. I was lucky enough to see almost all of it, even if I wasn't able to attend the event. That meant sometimes I knew the surprises beforehand, and sometimes I saw the missteps that no one else outside of the team did, but it was worth it to see these people come together with the common goal of using their individual talents and passions to advance the role they were given to benefit the mission as a whole.
As the week progressed though, I started to realize my role was not going to be lifted off of my shoulders so easily. This is a pattern that I have realized I fall into, not being able to fully rejoice with others because I begin to be worried about myself and my own feelings and desires. While the fact that my role as Operations Director had many responsibilities at the end was true, it isn't Christ-like to be secretly envious of others. This feeling came over me once or twice, but I was reminded of Christ as the suffering servant, not thinking highly of himself, even though he deserved to be thought highly of, and doing what he had to do, not complaining about it.
As the mission finished off, I had to finish paying for things like the last meeting, the final banquet, and past expenses. We had some extra money left over in the budget, so for the last meeting I ordered Jimmy John's for everyone. In the last 24 hours of the mission, while pulling an all-nighter, I had to locate everything that belonged to the mission and put it in a locked closet that we have in the Dwight. This included things like printers, tables, the box of games, the ping pong paddles, sports balls, and vacuum cleaners. At about 3 am on the last day, I realized I had to collect those things, and finally put the last thing away at about noon that day, after running to and from the lobby to say goodbye to people, pack my own things in my room, and to the closet.
This stuff was on top of writing a 8 minute-ish talk for the last meeting, writing notecards of encouragement to the men on the leadership team, coordinating with the other directors to write a letter to everyone on mission (to be read on the way home), finishing up discipleships, and having time to myself (which honestly, there wasn't very much at all).
It would be so easy to complain if I didn't have so many people helping me with all of these things. The directors all met to write our talks and the letter, so many people helped me to find supplies that last night, vacuums, and anything that I asked for, really. I won't list names because I know I would forget someone and that would be truly a tragedy. I was pulling my first all-nighter at the time, so I will cut myself some slack. If one of these people are reading this, thank you so much. I hope you know who you are.
As I have been home, for what has now been 3 days, I have entered a sort of in-between space. I will be back to school to start RA training on Thursday, August 18th, which is too soon. I don't know how long it will be until I get time to process some of this summer. I guess I have to make time if I don't get it. One thing I know from others is that it is going to be hard. Summer Mission was a bubble, and outside of it things aren't so easy. There aren't always going to be men around me that are running as hard after God as I am, who can challenge and encourage me. There aren't always going to be people who know that the best fun comes when you can remember every second of it. But there is always a God who is pursuing me and calling me to pursue him back. The challenge from here on out is to truly believe my own advice, which I gave to the entire mission as the last part of the entire talk at the last meeting we had in Chicago.
But that, honestly, was the boring stuff. We also had multiple dance parties, a final banquet, a last meeting, and many other lasts. But one of the most exciting parts of the last week was seeing the relief of those who completed the last responsibilities of their roles, one by one feeling the weight lift off of their shoulders. They may not yet realize what I have been able to see, which is how strong those shoulders have become. First was the Men's and Women's Event planners, then the community team responsible for group meals and community events, then the campus team leaders, then the other community team, then the Final Banquet team, then the meetings team. These people have worked so hard all summer to make everything run smoothly, and as the man people had to come to to get money, I knew everything that we spent money on, and therefore everything that we did.
The amount of planning and preparation that went into each event most likely went unnoticed by the general CSM population, but not me. I was lucky enough to see almost all of it, even if I wasn't able to attend the event. That meant sometimes I knew the surprises beforehand, and sometimes I saw the missteps that no one else outside of the team did, but it was worth it to see these people come together with the common goal of using their individual talents and passions to advance the role they were given to benefit the mission as a whole.
As the week progressed though, I started to realize my role was not going to be lifted off of my shoulders so easily. This is a pattern that I have realized I fall into, not being able to fully rejoice with others because I begin to be worried about myself and my own feelings and desires. While the fact that my role as Operations Director had many responsibilities at the end was true, it isn't Christ-like to be secretly envious of others. This feeling came over me once or twice, but I was reminded of Christ as the suffering servant, not thinking highly of himself, even though he deserved to be thought highly of, and doing what he had to do, not complaining about it.
As the mission finished off, I had to finish paying for things like the last meeting, the final banquet, and past expenses. We had some extra money left over in the budget, so for the last meeting I ordered Jimmy John's for everyone. In the last 24 hours of the mission, while pulling an all-nighter, I had to locate everything that belonged to the mission and put it in a locked closet that we have in the Dwight. This included things like printers, tables, the box of games, the ping pong paddles, sports balls, and vacuum cleaners. At about 3 am on the last day, I realized I had to collect those things, and finally put the last thing away at about noon that day, after running to and from the lobby to say goodbye to people, pack my own things in my room, and to the closet.
This stuff was on top of writing a 8 minute-ish talk for the last meeting, writing notecards of encouragement to the men on the leadership team, coordinating with the other directors to write a letter to everyone on mission (to be read on the way home), finishing up discipleships, and having time to myself (which honestly, there wasn't very much at all).
It would be so easy to complain if I didn't have so many people helping me with all of these things. The directors all met to write our talks and the letter, so many people helped me to find supplies that last night, vacuums, and anything that I asked for, really. I won't list names because I know I would forget someone and that would be truly a tragedy. I was pulling my first all-nighter at the time, so I will cut myself some slack. If one of these people are reading this, thank you so much. I hope you know who you are.
As I have been home, for what has now been 3 days, I have entered a sort of in-between space. I will be back to school to start RA training on Thursday, August 18th, which is too soon. I don't know how long it will be until I get time to process some of this summer. I guess I have to make time if I don't get it. One thing I know from others is that it is going to be hard. Summer Mission was a bubble, and outside of it things aren't so easy. There aren't always going to be men around me that are running as hard after God as I am, who can challenge and encourage me. There aren't always going to be people who know that the best fun comes when you can remember every second of it. But there is always a God who is pursuing me and calling me to pursue him back. The challenge from here on out is to truly believe my own advice, which I gave to the entire mission as the last part of the entire talk at the last meeting we had in Chicago.
"You are ready. God has used this summer to change you. It’s a fact. Anything else is the enemy attacking your heart. In the past 10 weeks, we have become comfortable here, with our friends and our schedule, which means it’s about time we go home. But as the name eternal pursuit suggests (the theme of our last week), the pursuit doesn’t stop here. We should not stop pursuing each other, we should not stop pursuing God. He never stops pursuing us. As much as I love seeing you here, I will love even more hearing about the ways God has used each and every one of you outside of this city, and how you have grown. We love you all. "
"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace." (Numbers 6:24-26)
[Side note: Things are a lot more meaningful if you read them slowly. Don't let your perceived lack of time rob you of real encouragement and advice.]
Keep me in your prayers.
You are loved
-Austin
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| Student and Staff Directors |
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| Director Squad |
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| Leadership Team looking spiffy |
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| View from Navy Pier |
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| Chick-fil-a is a highlight of Chicago for sure |
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| Myself and the two men I had the privilege of discipling, Ryan and Bryan |
