Week Nine Update: Climbing Over the Wall/The Home Stretch

The Leadership Team in the middle of our creative date

My mom, brother, and I at the rehearsal dinner right off of the beach

The four directors: Zach, Abbey, Amanda, and myself

The Leadership Team walking back from swimming after our creative date

My roommate Frankie and I unintentionally wore the exact same outfit

A note that has been on our door for weeks, but really hit home this past week.

As you can tell, it has been really hard to keep up with the blog over the past two weeks. I haven't even really thought about posting until the last few days. It was one of those "oh, darn, I still have to do that." I really see it as valuable though. I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read these, and that means I appreciate YOU, the person reading this right now. I hope that one day I will be able to sit down with you and describe the amazing things that happened here in Chicago. I say one day because I know every day after the mission ends is an opportunity to reflect and learn more about the things God did this summer and what he taught me. What I understand now pales in comparison to what he actually has done and even will do with our last week here.

This unfortunately will be a shorter post, and will have some mistakes in typing. I have to go to work in 35 minutes, but I want to post something to let you all know that I am doing well and I made it back safely from LA.

Alright, let's get this started.

I got back safely from California, really refreshed and happy about the weekend. The wedding was beautiful both aesthetically and spiritually. I could tell both the bride and the groom as well as both families were both following after Jesus, and it was amazing to celebrate their union under God as a representation of the relationship between Christ and us, his church. 

Coming back from that however, was a really rough transition. I came back to my apartment, dropped my bags, and headed right over to the bible study that was going on, and right into the flow of meetings and responsibilities that happens on Sundays. Then, in a flurry of unforeseeable circumstances, the directors had to make quick decisions to what we believed to be the best interest for everyone on mission. As it has so commonly happened here on mission, communication was not the best, people ended up getting left out, and some feelings were hurt.  There was also a situation with an individual we had to navigate.

Those two things set a rough start to the week, but I thankfully had a few days before going back to work to relax, go to campus to share with people, and spend time discipling the two men I have been entrusted for the summer. Nevertheless, by Tuesday I had noticed a bad mood had settled in on me, like a dark cloud. I was angry, frustrated, in despair over many different things.

Wednesday, I tried to read my bible during our weekly Night with the Lord, but I could not focus. As I attempted to diagnose why I was feeling so poorly, I just was getting more and more sad. I ended up talking to my dad for a little bit when he called, and that improved my mood a little bit, but the next day I still felt the same. Thursday went fine as I went to work and then to the weekly Thursday night meeting, where I served in the worship band playing a drum called a djembe. After the meeting, still feeling in a funk, I told my roommate Frankie, who I look up to in many ways. He was very gracious to me in my bad mood, even when I rebuked him for saying that he knew exactly how I was feeling (both a nursing and a ResStaff response). He suggested I spend time praying and reading my bible, talking to God and being honest about how I was feeling. In that time, I read Psalm 139, which says " Search me O God and know my heart!" I desperately wanted to know that God was there and that he cared about me. 

Long story short, this feeling lasted a whole week. It would be lifted for a little while based on circumstance, and then I would settle back into the rut I had been in. Finally on Monday night, I pleaded with God, asking that he would reveal his purpose for this time, and that if I felt better, let it be permanent. The next day, one of the students here I hadn't talked to a lot told me, upon hearing my story, that a great thing about emotions is that they are not truth. Just because you feel awful and far from God doesn't mean you are actually far from him. That was so liberating for me, to be reminded that my condition on earth no longer affect my position to God because of the saving power of Jesus. 

I have to go soon, but the week has been going well since then. God has answered my prayer in that my positive mood has stuck for the last few days. It is a lot of work, preparing to leave in now less than a week. It is sad, because the friendships we formed here are not going to be the same after we leave. However, it is exciting, because each and every one of these people are able to go back and have a major impact on their campuses for their ministries, bringing a new motivation for spreading the gospel.  That's what this mission is about in the end. Going home.

I'll probably post more later when I have more time. So much has happened, you would need the 10 weeks for me to tell you about it all.

Prayer Requests:

• That this last week would provide closure to the students here on summer mission, and prepare them to be excited to go home next Friday
• That God would use this last week to make the final push to bring people closer to him and to each other
• That his good, great, and perfect will would be done
• See previous posts

You are loved.

-Austin